Absurd

I woke up this morning with a very strong urge to eat nasi lemak and sambal ikan bilis petai. FMC took the children out for breakfast. I stayed behind coz I was busy cleaning the house. Anyway I told my kid to buy me nasi lemak and sambal ikan bilis petai.

They came back with nasi lemas ikan bilis sans petai. My daughter told me that the father took them to a different kedai which did not have petai. How disappointing...

Anyway, I should have known better.

Tomorrow is Sunday. As alway FMC will only buy NST though he knows that I always want to read MM. Yes, my Sundays won't be complete without reading MM. I will be restless. I love reading the gossip section and the DCCK column. The berpuluh tahun I ikut. Dari zaman anak dara sampai jadi mak budak.

Everyweek I have to go out and buy MM myself. Absurd. Kan boleh beli sekali.

Little things like these bring tears to my eyes.
Sakit hati.

Penyakit Mute

Yes, it's back. Penyakit mute datang balik. FMC (father of my children) is giving me the silent treatment for no apparent reason (at least to me)

My brother invited the family for doa selamat at his place.

We arrived there after Maghrib and joined the doa selamat. Then makan time (ada bubur kacang durian for dessert - yummy) I had a good time catching up the latest gossips with my relatives. The children were having a good time playing and eating and eating. All in all, everybody was enjoying themselves.

Then FMC decided that it was time to go back. It wasn't not even 10 pm. Around 9.30 aje. My elder sister's family were still on their way (still asking for direction).

Yes, we were the first guests to leave much to the dissappointment of everybody. Macamlah jauh sangat rumah. Bukan selalu dapat jumpa adik beradik dan saudara mara berkumpulkan. FMC claimed that he had a lot of things to do. In the the car, I made a remark should better be left unsaid. "Kesian .... kita balik cepat sangat, tak puas bersembang. Tak sempat jumpa ..."

FMC took it personally.

Upon reaching home, he quickly switched on his laptop and started fiddling with it...as if to make a point. Yeah he's very busy...

I started fidlling with mine.
Mute.

Berasap

I am really pissed off with C. Really mad. Fuming. Berasap...

Yelah, if he doesnt want to reply to my mail, at least send me sms from time to time. Ini langsung senyap sunyi. Tiada sebarang bunyi-bunyian. Ini sudah lebih. He is really trying my patience. Takkan itupun I nak ajar.

Ok you asked for it my dear. I swear I won't contact you ever unless you give me valid reason to do otherwise.

In the meantime MatP tak berhenti-henti contact me, hari-hari without fail. It is kind of nice...

Thin air

Yes, C finally replied to my mail. At last...
When mood saya pun dah terbang.

I will just keep still and stay put.
Nak buat tak tau aje...
Tak mau hantar email, sms or call.
If he misses me, pandai le dia cari saya kat mana.

Kalau tak tau nak cari, I'll dissappear into the thin air.
Out of his life for good.

Angry

I am very disappointed that C have not replied to my mail. I know that C is not into writing. He prefers to talk to me and to see me in person. He told me so. He also promised that he would try his best to write. For my sake...

I, on the other hand, love writing and love getting mails from him. It is the only way that I can feel that I have him close to me.

We had shared our secrets and fantasies. We poured our hearts out. But now, he just stopped writing. I am so pissed off especially after he promised to write when we talked last Friday.

I won't write to him. I won't text or call him.
I am erasing you from my memory bank.

C, I am angry at you.