Tuesday, November 25, 2008


Yesterday was a bad day. I got scolded like mad. I do think that I'm much too old to go through the experience but apparently that is what I have to go through. This mental torture has been going on for quite some time and I don't know when it will stop. It is not as bad as I made it sound but still I don't think I'm willing to live with it it anymore.

So, the big question is what am I going to do about it? Hmm ...that is kind of interesting. What are the options that I have... what are the consequences of the options...am I strong enough to face them?

Well, the bottom line is I don't want lo live in sin. Penghidupan saya tidak diredhai. I know that I'm not loved or even liked by the person. This is reflected by the tone of the voice, the words used, the facial expression, the action...

So, what is the purpose of staying together? For the sake of the children? Come to think about it the present situation is not healthy for them either.

Friday, November 21, 2008

It never came through

I'm expecting for the call but it never came through. I guess C must be really busy. I wish he called because I wanted to tell him about A. Some other time then.

A close friend confided that she is pregnant again. She did the home pregnancy test last night and the result came positive. The friend was indifferent about the situation. What to do? Terima ajelah...I told her that I will visit her once she gave birth with nice present. Ha..ha I guess I will have to be extra careful just in case..

I still can't get C out of my mind. I terribly long to hear his voice. Listen to his laughter. Should I call him? Nay...the most I can do is to email him later on. C, have a nice weekend with your loved ones. I'll be thinking of you..

I'm missing you, my dear.


Thursday, November 20, 2008


I called A just now. We have not seen each other for more a long long. It would be nice if we can meet up one of these days together with C. It would be even nicer if H can join us. Nice..real nice. Tengok le. I'll think of something.

It's been a while since the last time I spoke to C. I miss him and in fact thinking about him gives me strange feeling. I feel like having him close to me.

I really miss those carefree days. Why didn't we make full use of them? Why didn't you tell me how you feel? Why you waited for so long to get it out of your chest...

I feel like strangling you... Things could have been different. We could have been together, dear.

Now, I long for your calls. I keep on thinking about you.


Friday, November 14, 2008

When dear?

I want to meet C terribly but finding a suitable time seems to be a big problem.
You know, considering the situations we are in. He wanted to come over to see me but
I don't think it was a good idea. I prefer us to meet elsewhere.

The last time we met was in August right after we finished work. It was quite awkward seeing him again after so many years. I cursed myself for letting him slipped away before. How could I be so blind. I was oblivious to the signals transmitted. But then, the signals were so weak! According to C it was due to lots of interference with the airwaves. Huh...

Anyhow, we just see how it goes. Hopefully, before year end we can meet over coffee. In the meantime, I'll be thinking of you.

Bye dear.


How're you dear...kat mana?
I'm bored n hungry. Call me if u r free.
I promise that it won't be long that u
miss other important calls...
kalau sibuk tu takpe.
I just miss talking to you.

Hi. I miss u too. Give me 10 mins.
Ill call u k.

My dear, i really miss you.